@abhorrent_wife: I just apologized for sending someone a text using shouty font because I couldn't remember the term "all caps".
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@delome10: Girls be crying over a dude who reads at a 3rd grade reading level. He’s not ignoring your text, he’s sounding it out. Give him a second.
@AristotlesNZ: 3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I'm totally using that at work tomorrow.
@Hmmm_er: She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe
@simoncholland: I decided to become a dad when I noticed how many kids never finish their nuggets.