@CelebrityChez: I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
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@SonOfCha: I saw a commercial on Animal Planet where animals were talking & that's all well & good but they totally got the giraffe's accent wrong.
@jordan_stratton: According to commercials, a woman's primary goal in life is to lock in moisture.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: By your age I was on my 3rd child already. Me: Wow that's a lot of kids to eat in a such a short period of time.