@inikoblue: I just asked my friend to come over and "play husband". He's gonna be pissed when he finds out we are putting together shelves from ikea.
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@QwertyJones3: Sorry for shouting "go go gadget personality" while you were speaking. Please, continue.
@pleatedjeans: [first date] girl: I bet you're really cute under those glasses [removes frames/is instantly obliterated by Cyclops' optic blast]
@WilliamRodgers: Johnny Depp's wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today... With NO prenup...She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets.
@SlipperySecret: Guy knocking on bathroom door after sex: I think I love you. Me stringing tampons together, making a rope to climb out the window: Okay....