@trentistweeting: "Hey Iron Man, how'd you get your powers?"
*flashes back to tony stark being bitten by a radioactive ironing board*
@hippieswordfish: *sees red lobster commercial*
oh shit that looks good
*goes to red lobster*
what the absolute hell happened in here
@Bez: How do you delete Facebook? I'm not talking about my account I mean the entire thing.
@aspiringtoucan: ME: whats our policy on dogs in the office
BOSS: no dogs
ME: [about to hand over my dog's resume but I pull it back just in time] haha duh
@thatUPSdude: Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants.
Everyone heard you leaving.
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