@MourningGlory_: I just ate an entire bag of Werther's and now I'm 80 years old, own a floral couch, smoke Virginia Slims, got a perm and my name is Shirley.
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@JasonLastname: Once a marine, always a marine. Even if you're now working at Subway. You're a submarine.
@AnkCoupleTO: Smooth Criminal: I use a razor Smoother Criminal: I get laser treatments Smoothest Criminal: *it's just an Asian guy laughing at them both*
@DothTheDoth: I love how insurance companies offer "accident forgiveness" like they're some sort of ancient deity pardoning your existence.