@KyleMcDowell86: [I just barely squeeze thru the elevator doors as they shut, however my chain wallet get caught, ripping my pants off as the elevator rises]
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@TheHatdog: Google Search: -is my toaster broken -can fire ants make toast -bathtub fire, small -house fire, how to stop -is house fire toast a thing?
@SteveStfler: Biden: Ok here's the plan: have you seen Home Alone Obama: Joe, no Biden: Just one booby trap Obama: Joe
@Reverend_Scott: GUY: I wish girls liked comics. GIRL: I love comics. GUY: Oh really? Then what's the Hulk's favorite flavor ice cream?
@rolldiggity: "Any minute now. Any minute..." -Lincoln Logs, waiting for a phone call from Hollywood