@Black__Elvis: I just blew off some steam and it wouldn't even kiss me afterward.
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@duplicitron: Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.
@DanMentos: "Hi I'm looking for a birthday card for my mom's sister" *hands you an extremely small card* "WHAT IS THIS A CARD FOR AUNTS" Yes "Perfect"
@Vice_Queen: Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid.
@k_lli: My favorite part of the holiday party is getting to meet my coworkers' dates & find out who chooses to put up with these people for free.