@heymonroe: I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
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@pleatedjeans: [spider confronting me] him: yo did you steal my coat? me: [wearing 8-sleeved coat] no this is mine
@skickwriter: I appreciate and am so thankful for all law enforcement officers ...until I'm driving.
@joe_binkley: Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise... Turns out it was just a Pitbull song on the radio.