@labyrinthpretty: I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it???
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@daniel_shaw: Personal trainer said we're going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me.
@SortaBad: I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
@nealbrennan: When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist.
@Pierre__4: If you truly want my undivided attention start to tell me something then say never mind