@PoguePhilosophy: I just bought some land with a stranger and now we have a lot in common.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shanethevein: The best thing about Twitter is that I can reveal my deepest and darkest secrets and you dumbasses think I'm joking.
@sirmunchie: Someday, my kids will say "daddy, wanna hear a cool story" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story.
@NintenDom: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song has a part where it sounds like they're trying to guess words for a crossword puzzle.
@ruinedpicnic: "anyone for turkey burgers?" turkey: well sure haha "oh, it's not a burger for turkeys" turkey: what is it then "uhh" turkey: say it