@stewnami: I just burped and fogged my glasses up. Line forms to the left ladies.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mrtruthandsoul: [3 AM] 5yo: *sobbing* Daddy Me: Ughhh..yes, sweetheart, what's wrong? 5yo: I'm lonely... Me: Then, don't ever get married. 5yo: Ok, Daddy.
@Plurprincess_1: I bought a pair of Undies yesterday. On the front it says, "I Will do Anything For Love" ..and on the back it says, "But I Won't do That."
@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter adds an edit button you'll retweet "I like kittens" and ten minutes later it'll say "I drink period blood."