@stewnami: I just burped and fogged my glasses up. Line forms to the left ladies.
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@PabloGSerski: I'm never drinking & driving again because the last time, it was a disaster. I lost control and ended up driving to a Robin Thicke concert.
@qwertying: Daughter: Dad do Zombies exist? Dad: No dear they're people wearing lots of makeup. Daughter: Oh like mommy? Dad: Close enough.
@handsock_butts: SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: What would you like- ME: I'D LIKE TO CREATE A SHOW ABOUT DOGS COOKING PIZZAS SE: -on your sub? ME: PUPPERONI