@stockejock: 'I just call it like I see it...' -People giving their unsolicited opinion about their unsolicited opinions.
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@funnyoneliners: I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them.
@rockymomax: Cop: You doin drugs? "No" Cop: Whatya smokin? "Pot" Cop: THATS DOING DRUGS "Ohh I thought you meant like [whispers] having sex with drugs"
@samalmightysam: Overweight people know they're overweight, tall people know they're tall, why is it that stupid people don't know what they are?