@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Love_bug1016: The person who is your first and last thought of the day is either the one who has your heart, or who's murder you're secretly plotting.
@GrantTanaka: *deep fries turkey *deep fries deck *deep fries backyard *deep fries house *deep fries neighborhood *deep fries los angeles
@iwearaonesie: wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink