@drunktweets81: I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
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@robdelaney: Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units.
@QwertyJones3: "You're never going to believe this, but my doctor just told me I've got a protein deficiency." "No whey!"
@shawn_spree: A Febreze commercial but with pot head teenagers trying not to get busted by their parents that had just walked in the house.