@ReeseButCallMeV: I just cleaned out my purse. So, I'll be having a garage sale later this afternoon.
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@Tommytoughstuff: "Have a seat" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* "Dad I..." **Dad puts up hand* "Please don't call me that."
@Elizasoul80: I like to ask strangers in line at the DMV to guess my weight just so I can see what I can get away with putting on my license.
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: At a guess, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: Hardly any D: That's excellent ME [swigs vodka] But I'm a terrible guesser