@pauleggleston: I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me.
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@AverageClo: Why do people say "To be frank..." when they're about to be brutally honest? WHAT IF FRANK LIED!? WHAT IF I WANT TO BE MARLENE!?
@thesulk: Next time you're on an elevator with a stranger say, "If the doors open and it's all zombies, let's team up."
@InternetHippo: CNN, 1939: Invading Poland made him sexy ;) CNN, 1940: Hitler has developed a disturbing penchant for invasions
@Ignorant_Indian: Dating Tips. C all her 69 times a day. R ing her doorbell and hide. E avesdrop by phone tapping. E ye her bffs. P oke her on FB.