@flukyness: I just cut my hand on a box of band aids if you were wondering how I'm doing at life
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@Brianhopecomedy: Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
@cigarin: I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.
@ShesARealGenius: I like how Band-Aids come in 2 varieties: Stays on For a Second Before Falling Off or Needs WD-40 For Removal From Skin.