@stockejock: I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys.
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@notacroc: [Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out
@ChickenFrecklez: When ya leave Twitter it's called twittercide. What about Instagram? Instagramicide? IGicide? Instacide? Gramicide? Instadead? Instagone?
@UNTRESOR: The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground.