@ShipInTheKnight: I just don't understand how moats ever went out of style.
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@StellaRtwot: I lit candles & put a trail of rose petals all over the house in confusing patterns so my husband can't find me drinking in the closet.
@RidiculousSheri: Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks.
@Brianhopecomedy: I babysat for the first time and it was just non-stop screaming. Next time I'll look before I lie down on the couch.