@cowyfwame: I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
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@iwearaonesie: *comes back with wife's purse* w: I said don't run or people will think you stole it! How many times did you get tackled? m:[bleeding] Twice
@Go2Slp: What flavor is the milkshake? How far away is the yard? How could you know its better than mine? You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.
@onelongbender: When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?
@LurkAtHomeMom: Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger Me: Like a sledgehammer? T: No. More like breathing- M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?