@cowyfwame: I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
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@dxxnya: *in hell* satan: dude you gotta stop following me around me: I don't know anyone else here I feel awkward
@jarrettstod: *someone finally replies after hours* my brain: don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it me: *replies in 0.02 seconds*
@badbanana: Walk into a random building, go to a random floor, step into a random meeting, and take a donut. Best donut you'll ever eat.
@sad_tree: *A demon tries to posses my soul while I sleep but can't because he's choking on all of the axe body spray I'm wearing*