@E_lok44: I just found a Cheerio in my sofa and we don't have any Cheerios in this house.
@KimmyMonte: Rejected Disney Movie Titles:
1) Find My Fish Son
2) A Shit Ton Of Spotted Dogs
3) Peter Pot
4) Pretty Lady & Big Foot Face
5) It's Cold
@candace_9871: Boss approaches, I frantically close my google image search of cats hugging, only to show a new window of cats in formal wear. I get fired.
@AimByWhiskey: Her: Your c**k is small
Me: An RV is big until you park it in the Grand Canyon.
@Robinbuble: Made the mistake of ordering chlorine for the pool and researching Kenya so I'm tweeting this from what appears to be a windowed black van.
@ibid78: WHAT DO WE WANT?
The ability to ask different questions
WHAT DO WE WANT?
See this is what we were talking about