@CrissieC: I just found a half eaten hotdog inside of a Mr.Potatohead in the hamper. Living with a toddler is like living with a tiny hammered person.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Prof_Peejay: Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit.
@1_swarthy_dude: You have to kiss a lot of short, black, flamboyant musicians before you can find your Prince.
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] Did you really think bringing a puppy with you to the interview would help you get the job? "Yes" WELL YOU'RE RIGHT.