@CrissieC: I just found a half eaten hotdog inside of a Mr.Potatohead in the hamper. Living with a toddler is like living with a tiny hammered person.
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@iinkedZombie: My son asked me what it's like to be a parent so I woke him up at 3 a.m. to let him know that I couldn't sleep.
@Brianhopecomedy: I'm working out again in hopes that I can wear my superhero shirt in public without someone saying, "Batman really let himself go".
@sixthformpoet: How many Happy Meals do you need to eat before they start to work? I've just had six and I feel terrible.
@TheAlexNevil: If reading bedtime stories to my son has taught me anything, it's that mice lead much fuller, exciting lives than I do.