@CrissieC: I just found a half eaten hotdog inside of a Mr.Potatohead in the hamper. Living with a toddler is like living with a tiny hammered person.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GuyThe_Guy: In Maryland we can't legally carry concealed weapons so our best defense against being murdered is the zig-zag runaway.
@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.
@pleatedjeans: I'll never forget my 8th grade teacher. She was a 12-foot snake monster. Had 4 heads. Ate 7 desks. Killed a kid. Really made an impression.