@Contwixt: I just found a Macklemore CD in a Thrift Shop and the Universe imploded.
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@lasergirl70: Wearing a pretty new bra today that nobody else is gonna see, so everytime I go to the bathroom, I flash myself in the mirror.
@DamienFahey: The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number.
@AndyAsAdjective: I want to congratulate you on learning the definition of abundance. "Thank you. It means a lot."
@geekysteven: "Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. "Who?" TT: Bingo