@Contwixt: I just found a Macklemore CD in a Thrift Shop and the Universe imploded.
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@ch000ch: ME, TEXTING MY CRUSH: have any plans tonight? HER: no not yet!! i'm totally free and available ME: ok well have a good night whatever u do
@SuperJuanderer: What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good.
@Corncleats: *flexing arms* I'd like you to meet my two good friends, Sledge and- "Hammer?" Holy shit that's way cooler.. I was gonna say Sledge 2