@wickedblondeone: I just found a quarter in the vending machine, if anyone is looking for a sugar mama.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival.
@Br00klyn_BeAr: Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?
@HughGoesThere: [first day as priest] Me: Do you take this woman as your lawful wedded wife? Him: She's my daughter and this is her baptism. Me: Mazel tov.