@TinaMav: I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mother's room. I can't believe it... she's a superhero!
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@Izianikapani: Saw a video for vegan cauliflower icecream on fb and heard the four horsemen of the apocalypse thunder overhead.
@Reel2Dialog2: [playing poker] "I'm all in" *slowly pushes a half-eaten burrito and a cat to middle of the table*
@jordan_stratton: *coworker walks into bathroom, triggering the motion sensor that turns the lights on* ME: [from one of the stalls] Welcome.
@chagger73: I only watch Storage Wars to see if they find my ex's body. Just kidding. I like the show. And she's buried in the woods.