@kentgrossarth: I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend's bedroom. I can't believe she's a super hero.
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@rad_milk: when i was born i was no bigger than a hotdog, and no better. now i am the size of many hotdogs, and just as good
@Stabby_smurf: Let's say weed does make me dumber. Then you should be thanking me for levelling the playing field.
@_mindflakes: Me: Siri how much moss is it safe to eat Siri: I wasn't built for this Me: Siri, the moss Siri: Please let me go back to the phone factory
@Marl_TheBean: I like my men like I like my books; easy to read and waiting for me in bed. ... And does the dishes. Ok this isn't working