@joeljeffrey: I just found out gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a dinosaur. Needless to say, my gorgonzola salad was a huge let down.
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@TheBoydP: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
@JohnLyonTweets: *watches Beauty and the Beast* *looks at dirty dishes in sink* WASH YOURSELVES AND SING TO ME!
@shegotagronk: I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
@MomOfTeen: Walking by the lingerie section Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy? No one is ever going to see it anyway. Me: Uh huh.