@Pumpkinbabypie: I just found out Nicki Minaj isn't animated!
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@NotJPo: Listen up, single people. You can only sleep with so many people. Sooooo many people. So so so many.
@errdayhustlah: My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one. Parenting is hard, you guys.
@hotdogsladies: I say: "No, sorry. I'm not on Facebook at all." They hear: "I live amongst hill people where The Goat we worship has forbidden friendship."