@Book_Krazy: I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore
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@inmynewskin: Losing weight to be attractive is weird. I see you shrunk your body slightly. Now I want you.
@rzarosco: "We should definitely let dolphins go into space instead of monkeys" said one scientist obviously not a dolphin dressed up as a scientist
@seamusmckracken: If you're hitting the gas every time she tries to open the passenger side door, remember, the 8th time is always the funniest.
@ojedge: [packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen