@Book_Krazy: I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [son falls over & hurts himself] ME: aww poor kid, he needs a little THC WIFE: don't you mean TLC? ME: [huge bong rip] he needs what now?
@LoveNLunchmeat: Him: I'm a lover, not a fighter Me: [already has on boxing gloves] Awwww, that's so sweet, should be an easy knockout then