@13spencer: I just found out that "Birdman" has nothing to do with Hawkeye, and now I want to see it.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day
@maisonwithapen: ME: hey guys what's the herps? HIM: u mean haps? M: oh, haha yea. what's the itch?—I mean sitch H: uh M: hows it herpin? H: M: I have herpes
@Vodkantots: Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11.
@DecantAndPour: I always keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge just in case anyone wants a black coffee.