@Swishergirl24: I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot.
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@Swishergirl24: No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss.
@TurnpikeTony: I better fix the hinge on this cabinet door before Ryan Gosling comes over, takes his shirt off and builds my lady a house.
@mstluvstrinkets: "Ok, so you love kids and a clean house? Really, you don't drink but you like to drive?" Me, interviewing the perfect sister wife