@Swishergirl24: I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot.
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@Kilgore_Studge: I always write "boing" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go.
@Maxine12333: The only way I'd get within six feet of some people is if I'm standing on their grave.
@MicheleAKALips: I had a boyfriend once....right up until the moment my dad asked him "so what do you do?" and he replied your daughter. He's Dead.