@Poutymcgee: I just Googled "Living with Glaucoma" before realising it was just a fingerprint smudge on my glasses.
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@inmynewskin: I have a tattoo of a tiger shirt underneath my tiger shirt so when I take off my tiger shirt BOOM tiger shirt
@AimeeHelene1: When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*
@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
@FilthyRichmond: Lifeguards should focus more on water safety and less on me laying eggs in the sand.