@krisv_723: I just got a text saying they lost my cell number & could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with.
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@iYoungKhalifa: If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage..
@SoAnyway1: I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend, her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was too proud to run after it.
@EndhooS: My wife says brushing my teeth when sitting on the toilet is disgusting but honestly this toilet brush is almost brand new
@NicestHippo: [getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"