@ibid78: I just got an eyelash in my eye and I'm yelling at it cuz it's supposed to prevent this shit from happening like, "YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB."
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@SatansTongue: *Dentistry school* Here's your final: *stabs student* Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?" FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!
@13spencer: [Office] Secretary: Mr. Grey will see you now. Anastasia Steele: I have a ridiculous name.
@77StephanieG77: I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage.... So now I know why zombies walk like they do.