@OhNoSheTwitnt: I just got asked to work on a "special project" which is boss for "This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it."
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@AbbyHasIssues: Manager: Why do you want to work at Comcast? Applicant: I'll get you an answer in about a week. Manager: Brilliant! You're hired.
@peachesanscream: To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.