@13spencer: I just got cut off by a bald man in a BMW, so I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window, and laughed at him.
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@trevso_electric: Man who looks forward to spending his entire life with Kim Kardashian disagrees with Grammy decision.
@DVSblast: NO MATTER HOW MANY ALIENS BIT SCULLY SHE STUCK TO HER GUNS LIKE "NO THESE ARE SCIENCE BITES". KINDA GOTTA RESPECT THAT.
@KKAlThani: Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say "it's time to chase my dreams!" & then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep.
@thatsuperdad: Stranger: Sir your fly is down... Me: Oh geez! Thanks. *Bends down and picks up fly* Me: He's had some wing issues lately