@BradBroaddus: I just got hit head on by a crazy women riding a menstrual cycle.
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@ceejoyner: Some fancy kids just egged my house with quail eggs. I went out to yell, and one of them garnished me with chives.
@Traceylei2: You know those orange cones they put on the road for you to knock over? Totally just beat my previous high score.
@AllyBallyBeal: Do not mess with bears. You'll be their victim. Yogi Bear wears clothes. Where did he get his clothes? That's right - a victim
@Mama_in_heels: My mom asked where the remote was and my son told her it was up her ass. She high-fived him and then turned around and slapped me.