@the_mom_dot_com: I just got laid. But don't worry, I was totally thinking about you guys the whole time.
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@Parker_Simpson: Took a screenshot with my iPhone with the intention of texting a picture of my cracked screen.So the answer is no I didn't graduate college.
@HomeProbably: My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch.
@KenJennings: Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell "definitely."