@NintenDom: I just got off the phone with God. He's pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn't even know he exists.
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@Notoliviasteel: I will probably never be the tallest person in the room, but I will certainly be the highest
@__candypants: Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL.
@zachraffio: - Adele's baby starts to cry - Adele sings the baby a lullaby - baby cries more, but now for different reasons