@bfrosty04: I just got smiled at by a lovely cashier who has plenty of teeth, but clearly only brushes her favorites.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rudetanks: The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad. And you said id never amount to anything
@XplodingUnicorn: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself.
@TrueQuixote: I'm not a cyber-bully but I did change my WiFi network name to "I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING STEVE". Sleep well neighbor. Sleep well.
@AlexRogaski: [God making African animals] Screw it. Just put stripes on a horse, make that water lizard really big, and put spots on a really tall deer.