@Talkbackatme: I just got unfollowed by a woman that just started following me yesterday, so I guess I just had my first one night stand on twitter.
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@WilliamRodgers: Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How? Dr: It just does Me: What just does? Dr: Smoking weed causes memory loss Me: How?
@BroIsMeeeee: Ladies call me the mitochondria because they kinda remember me from high school and i'm in a cell
@rolldiggity: MEDIC: "Put pressure on the wound!" ME: "Hey, wound! All the cool kids are drinking and you should too!"