@Stella1070: I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that's over with.
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@ThaJawn: *gives up horoscopes for Lent *caves and reads horoscope "You are weak willed and lack conviction"
@david8hughes: [first day as coast guard] Boss: 7 people died on your watch today Me [looking off into the distance]: yes but the coast is fine
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along.