@Teowulf: I just had to add "velociraptor" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something.
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@Chumpstring: My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace.
@nerdreign: Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct.
@juneohara65: Doctor, reaching for a piece of paper: "Are you on any meds?" Me: "You might want to grab a notebook."
@My_Higherness: Educated Twitter about to come and differentiate for us between an earthquake and tremor. We don't care...as long as there is shaking.