@Teowulf: I just had to add "velociraptor" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something.
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@celticrose2312: I bought shampoo for "badly behaved" hair. So relieved my hair will finally stop robbing banks and terrorising old ladies.
@dannylonglegs99: "Bro, rumor has it ur dads emo now" "Emo? Nah yo, EMU" "Im confused.." *A massive bird moonwalks in w/ a #1 Dad shirt* "Hi confused, Im Dad"
@ingmarbirdman: *bumps into cute girl while typing on calculator* oops! got a bit carried away inventorying my lizards *makes sure she sees the 99999999999*