@iGreenMonk: I just hate when these girls take selfies on road specially when i am peeing in the background.
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@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
@OhMyBlondie: If you have your Twitter account linked to Facebook I don't think you understand what it is we do here.
@howe007: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "hey, that one over there is shaped like an alcoholic".
@myonlymizztake: I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship.