@thisis_thatguy: I just heard an add on the radio stressing the importance of healthy muscles and it inspired me to bend my elbows more while eating cake.
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@beckyiniowa: If the head of CIA can't even hide his own affair it's pretty safe to say there were no aliens at Roswell and we really went to the moon.
@crunchenhancer: What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses? Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.
@AristotlesNZ: I don't like telling people I used to be a stalker. It sounds better saying "I spent a lot of time studying a broad."