@JediGigi: I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aliterative: If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, detonate the explosive collar.
@Chel__CLE: When my husband brags that girls hit on him at work, I just remind him that I make more money than him. We both go to bed happy.
@justabloodygame: A cemetery foreman discovers that his employees cremated a body he explicitly told them to bury. "You've made a grave mistake!" He fumes.