@LinajkReturns: I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day.
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@GreenishDuck: Text your dad "egg salad sandwich" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken.
@OneTrickTofani: Just so u know guys I literally covered my roommates bed in 324 pieces of cornbread 2 make it a "cornbed" so ur fakes puns mean nothing 2 me
@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
@TheRealNickKay: Daddy Bear -"Someones been sleeping in my bed." Mummy Bear -"Wouldn't be the first time." Daddy Bear -"It's been 3 years Sue, let it go."