@LinajkReturns: I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day.
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@NathanBgood: "Can't beat fresh apple pie" she says, setting 1 down. I slam my fist into it. 3rd degree burns. "Wrong" I whisper 4 hrs later in the ER.
@BadMikeyBad: Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you're 3 and your parents are idiots.
@amfmpm: dry skin? flaky scalp? discoloration? scaling? tongue bifurcating all by itself? hissing? legs fusing together? recently evicted a gypsy?
@djdarrellripley: Call me old fashioned, but I never cry in front of another man unless it's to get out of a speeding ticket...