@juliussharpe: I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad.
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@MUMSIEesq: [HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: "A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket." WIFE: "What?" DR: "Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."
@ShutUpThatsWho: *job interview* Why do you want to be a psychiatrist? *pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet the reason Kim Kardashian hasn't named her baby is because she doesn't know she's supposed to.
@ThisOneSayz: The person who named the eggplant must have been: a) Colorblind, and b) Totally high