@juliussharpe: I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: What are Nazis? Me: Bad people who we killed a long, long time ago 5: Why were they bad? Me: They kept correcting our grammar
@Molly_Kats: A Victoria's Secret commercial will always come on when you're elbow deep in a bag of Doritos.
@PaigeKellerman: 90% of being a parent is shouting, "Remember to flush the toilet." The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone.