@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
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@LindaInDisguise: Siri, make me pancakes. You have a Blackberry, Linda. Go home, Linda, you're drunk.
@PhilJamesson: Doctor: The tests came back. They don't look good. The tests: ok wow this is the kind of attitude that made us leave in the first place
@shawnspree: I always carry a small bottle of Tabasco when I fly. You never know when you're going to crash in the Alps & have to live by eating people.