@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
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@highwayhooligan: I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
@lovejulieacafe: *Speed Dating* Him: Do you have any hobbies? Me: *tying my hair in a big knot under my chin so I look like I have a beard* "TAAA-DAAA!"
@botandy: google logo keeps changing its appearance because it killed a man in Tampa in 1999 and has to stay ahead of the law