@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
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@TheBeerGuy73: Wife: Let's get my mom a special gift; one that will make her lose her mind! Me: How about a guillotine? Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch.
@themiltron: [working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met.