@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
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@gm_cage: My 8 yr old son asked me earlier what the first two letters of 'fun' are. I laughed, we fist bumped, and then I sent him to the corner..
@TwatWaffler69: I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children.
@MrsGoose69: Hubby: "Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?" Wife: "I don't want to bother you while you are at work."