@TheCatWhisprer: I just laid on my cat's keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation.
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@QwertyJones3: [during sex] ME: I'm Italian, how about you? HER: Finnish ME: Ok sure just give me a second
@ch000ch: hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. the captain can't talk cause we both said "hope we don't die haha" at the same time and i jinxed him
@Marlebean: [ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! "Toilet paper?!"
@w00f_w00f: Hate it when couples fight & change their relationship status to "single". I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to "orphan".