@InternetEh: I just laughed so hard I have to go use a rescue inhaler now
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@GeauxSaints79: 911: I'd like to report a Twief! 911: What? A Twurglar! 911: I don't follow You can't catch em like that. Hurry they're getting stars!
@totalwackjob: My sex life has improved so much I'm thinking of asking someone else to join me...
@nayele18: Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it.