@InternetEh: I just laughed so hard I have to go use a rescue inhaler now
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@offbeatoliv: As a baby I took my son Caden to the park. Other kids there were Aiden Jayden Brayden & Ben. The parents that named Ben should get an award.
@panmidwest: ME: [repeatedly trying, and failing, to film a successful water bottle flip] DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: experts project extinction for this species
@LurkAtHomeMom: Mom: how's therapy Me: ok. my anxiety is better Mom: great Me: yeah Mom: Me: Mom: so did u get the article I sent u about the flesh eating b
@VenisVal: My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video.